Out of Focus

At Maadi Community Church we worship under a big tent with fans in the summer-time and now in the winter we have quilted “tent makers cloth” drapes attached to the sides to keep us warm. (yes, it does get cold here). These cloths are very colorful-reds, greens and blues in distinctive arabian designs! The stage is set with a small tree wrapped with lights off to one side, surrounded by terra cotta angels. The tent ceiling is covered with twinkle lights as well as a few colored lights. Not quite center stage is the advent wreath, or rather triangle. It is made of wrought iron and looks like a triangle on a stick as the ‘stick’ is the pole it is attached to so it can be seen from the back. The apex of the candle is the Christmas candle and the other 4 candles are spaced along the outer lengths of the triangle. In the center is a sillhouete of the Nativity. I like looking at this because it is different than other advent wreaths I have seen. 

I have been thinking a lot about focus this year. We have a tree and some poinsettias. We have a few gifts under the tree. We have 4 Christmas CDs David brought for us. We have not been bombarded with things that take our focus off of the ‘true meaning of Christmas’. Yet, my focus wanders-a lot.  Last Sunday I was enjoying the carols and the setting I just described to you and was prepared to focus on the sermon, I thought. We sang ALL the verses to “Away in A Manger” and I lost my focus.  The song we sang before the pastor spoke was, “What Child is This?”  and  I lost my focus. 

My mind wanders to babies. While Megan was pregnant with her second child, Sheyenne discovered she also is pregnant! What rejoicing! What a blessing! Two grandkids in a year...now I won’t ‘catch up’ to my friend who has 3 kids who are giving them grandkids every 18 months-she has 7. But I am pretty excited here! Oh! the things the cousins will do with Nana and Papa Sam! Sheyenne    is due April 16th! Kaira Ester was born on my birthday in November. I was present for her home birth and it was wonderful. We celebrated!

November 16th Sheyenne and Sean found out they will have a girl! In the moment of a breath’s intake, our rejoicing turned to sorrow as Sheyenne described the findings of the ultrasound. On ultrasound, Baby Whitney Jill shows several indications that her problems are not ‘compatible with life.‘   Just recently, they have discovered that the source of Whitney's problems is a fatal condition known as Triploidy.  We are heart-broken for us, and doubly for Sean and Sheyenne.  We have faced prenatal problems before in our family. All three of our kids were premature-David quite! But none were said to be ‘incompatible with life.”   Blind, yes. Deaf, yes. Club-footed, yes. “Retarded”, yes. But incompatible with life, NO!  We don’t know the length of Whitney’s time with us-if Nana and Papa Sam will get to meet her this side of heaven. We hope so.  We have hope that things will be different. We trust God has the big picture.  We know God is good. In the meanwhile, I say her name aloud, and I write it out because it gives me joy to do so.  

I know that singing carols about a baby in a manger is going to set my mind to wandering. I hope, hope, hope that we will sing “Mary Did You Know” this Sunday! There is hope in this wistful song. Jesus grows up to save the nations. This will be my focus this Christmas season. Jesus, not as the baby, but as My Savior, My Comforter, My Peace-giver, My Strength.